 |
| Photo Credit - Buffalo Scenic Prints |
If you live in Western New York, you have probably heard of Blue4Ben. Although I have never met Ben or his family, I have a few mutual friends, as well as a pastor at my church, that are connected to them. As such, I have been following their heartbreaking journey since they started sharing their story.
Ben, who has always been dressed in blue to distinguish him from his twin brother, is a 4 year old boy who was recently diagnosed with a rare, aggressive brain tumor. He had brain surgery and started an intense chemo/radiation plan, only to find out a week in that the tumor had tripled its original size. He has since been sent home, and there are now thousands of people praying for a miracle from our Great Physician.
I have been praying for Ben and his family since I heard about what they are going through, as so many have. I have cried so hard that I could barely open my eyes afterward. I think about the journey his mother is on, and then I look at my own sweet baby, and I honestly can’t imagine what the pain must feel like. I'm pretty sure it's made all of us hug our little ones a little tighter and a bit longer lately.
These times in prayer for Ben and his family have led me to some really important conversations with God. I’d like to take you through one of them that happened the other night. As I was balling my eyes out and begging God to spare Ben’s life, I started praying for his mom. Please tell me if the light bulb goes off for you before it went off for me …
"I honestly don’t know if You made us to handle this much pain. It’s an unbearable feeling, to think about watching your son die in front of you. Please don’t make her go through that, Lord – it is too much pain for one person to bea…"
...
For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. (John 3:16)
Did God ever want to change His mind? Did He ever look at His little boy, His one and only son, knowing that He was going to die for us ingrates, and think about sparing His life? He watched as His baby was demeaned, threatened, cursed at, beaten within an inch of His life, only for them to take His bruised body and nailed it to a tree. For us.
I know the story of the cross, and I have been convicted countless times of my sin, but this time it was especially overwhelming. I just kept apologizing to God over and over again for what I had done. Because of me, He had to send His son into this world to die.
And yet, His grace abounds.
So often in life we think that nobody understands what we are going through. And if we are not careful, our problems can start to seem so big, that our God starts to seem small and far away. Now, I can’t imagine what Ben’s family is going through, and I won’t pretend to understand, because I can’t. But, God does. He will be there with them every step of the way, and we should all pray that as Ben and his family travel this difficult road, they feel the loving arms of their Father wrap around them and comfort them. And we can all apply this to our own (small in comparison) struggles. The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit. (Psalm 34:18) He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. (Psalm 147:3) He will not leave you nor forsake you (this is actually quoted more times in the bible that I realized – it’s obviously a point that God wants to get across).
I don’t know what lies ahead for sweet Ben, or any of the little ones that are facing a tough journey like him, but I do know that there are thousands of people praying as hard as they can for God to perform a miracle that only He can do. And I believe with my whole heart that He can do it.
No comments:
Post a Comment